So this week marks 100 years in the UK since certain women gained the right to vote and to stand for parliament. Not all women, I hasten to add. But it certainly marks an influx and that needs celebrating! It’s a remarkable step on a much longer path. This week marks progress and that is wonderful. I am recognising this week as the anniversary of a small victory. And I leave a picture of the first suffragette that I remember (even though there are a whole lot of contradictions involved in her character!): Winifred Banks from Mary Poppins.
But I suppose as a further step in the right direction, I wanted to discuss something serious and sinister. But I’m getting more and more concerned about the frequency of sexual harassment in the world. I worry about whether or not people are aware of what is sexual harassment. And I worry about how much of it goes unreported for various reasons.
Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favours, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature that tends to create a hostile or offensive work environment.
I’d say that was pretty accurate. Apparently, it’s difficult to differentiate between sexual harassment and flirting. I beg to differ and I don’t know why we need articles that differentiate between the two concepts. I did a lot of research in preparation for this post this morning and I found websites like ACAS. Google’s definition of sexual harassment refers to ‘mostly women’ and the Guardian’s article on the differences between sexual harassment and flirting leans toward the same assumption: that women are the only ones who suffer sexual harassment. However, they do offer a checklist to encourage Men to evaluate whether some flirting attempts are sexual harassment. Which, I suppose, is helpful. But it concerns me that this is necessary! However, ACAS acknowledges that 'sexual harassment' can happen to anyone.
It breaks my heart to hear that anyone suffer these sorts of encounters, let alone my friends and family. And more than once, I’ve suggested that it should be reported and it should. Perhaps this is naive of me. Perhaps I am too hopeful and too trusting of authority figures, to presume that these figures are approachable, trustworthy, and not encouraging of the sexual harassment.
On more than one occasion I have heard them say ‘but it wouldn’t achieve or change anything’. And this is something I've said myself. That is absolutely disgusting and incredibly sad. I cannot help but wonder how many people are putting up with this sort of behaviour on the account of being too scared to say anything, or simply because knowing that nothing will change. Everyday Sexism, and similar blogs, detail accounts of women that have been afraid to report it, in case they did something to encourage it. In case it is somehow their fault. I wonder how many women think that it can’t be sexual harassment because they view themselves as unattractive - because they lack confidence.
I wonder how many people simply don't know what sexual harassment is. I spoke to my mom, whilst writing this. And I gave her some examples sexual comments and asked her to identify which ones she thought were flirting, and which were sexual harassment. Long story short, it became very clear that not even my mother knew. Which isn't her fault at all! I'm just pointing out the lack of awareness surrounding the topic. And how easy it is to mask these inappropriate comments as harmless flirting.
I've heard stories of girls that have been groped in the work place.
Friends that been called ‘sexy’, and guys have commented that they're good with their hands but wondered ‘what else [they] can do with them’.
And these comments, and remarks, and these women feeling uncomfortable as a result is considered acceptable. Because they come from authority figures. I'm trying to avoid gender stereotypes. And I'm not saying that women are always victims, and men are always the perpetrators. But the sad, statistical fact is that it is often about power. And those with the power to hire and fire tend to be men, and exploit those without the economic or social resources to walk away, quit or challenge harassers.
So what isn't acceptable? well, anything that makes a person feel uncomfortable.
But what is sexual harassment? (some of these come with explanations and examples).
1. Asking for sexual favours.2. Sexual jokes. Even the minor things such as being referred to as 'sexy', or somebody enquiring 'what else [you] can do with [your] hands', is sexual harassment. It is critical to realise this. If sexual jokes are being made at your expense, that can also be sexual harassment. 3. Sexual discrimination.
So maybe the jokes aren't aimed at you, personally. But they might be made so frequently that it is making you feel uncomfortable. Even more so if yours is the minority gender in the workplace. Yup, this is sexual harassment.
4. Cyber attacks.
5. Unwanted physical contact.
Not necessarily sexual contact. But persistent and unwanted contact counts.
6. Attacks upon sexual orientation.
I feel it's also necessary to point out that trade unions can protect their members by speaking up for intimidated individuals. I acknowledge how difficult it is. But I would urge anyone to speak up. For themselves, and for others.
It's suggested, widely, that chick flicks have contributed to the changing ideas surrounding sexual harassment and the notion of 'banter'. That the women in chick flicks never seem to mean 'no', when they say it. And these ideas have bled into reality. This really, really worries me. There are so so many problems with Romantic Comedies, as a genre. I found a pretty awesome video in which Bill Maher tears the genre to shreds; Comedies in the Metro era! He identifies the limiting plots in which 'she married her boss, stalking is romantic and I hate you, but then I love you'. He even mentions the problems with Disney movies such as Snow White. It will never cease to amaze me that sexual harassment sells, and yet I'm just as guilty as anybody else. And how easy it is to sell it!
One last thing, and probably the most important:
It is not your fault.
It is not your fault.
It is not your fault.
I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend and are well.
S
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